Week 36

“Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God-- children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.” John 1:10-13

^ How other people see me apparently ^

^ What I actually look like ^

How far along?

36 weeks. 28 days until due date. Can you believe it?? It's best that he cooks as long as he can, but I'm still kinda hoping he might decide to join us a little earlier than 40 weeks! That would mean only one baby bump blog post left!

Baby size?
Eli is about the size of a honeydew. He is almost 6 pounds. The sonogram last week put him in the 50th or less percentile on all measurements and projected he'll be between 7 and 8 lbs at the due date. He's perfect!

Weight gain?
Holding steady at 24-25 lbs total.

Sleep?
Sleeping happens in small intervals. I'm waking up at least every hour to pee, switch from laying on one side to the other, or sit up to get a breath. I miss sleeping on my back so bad. I'm sure my body is getting ready for bedtime after baby.

Cravings?
So, one day at the commissary, they had a Noni Berry Snapple at the checkout. It was the best treat, and I crave it every day. They've never had it since. So, I settled for gummi bears. Had a JR Bacon Cheeseburger craving one day. Apples, Peaches, Strawberries. I eat an orange a day. I also eat my feelings often. 

Aversions?
None

Symptoms?
Some of these aches are constant, and my energy level is dropping back down. My emotional meter reached a peak of sorts for a few days. My closet is starting to hold very limited options for belly coverage. I can tell exactly how Eli is lounging at any time- where his little head and butt and legs are. He is head-down, so his little butt is sticking out around my ribs and he switches his legs from side to side. My rib cage and hips are constantly sore from him being a little too crowded in there. So far, I've avoided many adverse symptoms: no swelling, no weird skin discoloration or breakouts, no gum issues, normal to low blood pressure, very little cramping and heartburn, etc. Feeling good!

Mood?
- I've definitely been dealing with a lot of anxiety and nerves. It's confusing to hear all the giggly excitement from others when you feel a little scared. It's lonely. I've had to work to let go of hurt and defenses this two weeks, and it hasn't been easy. There are expectations and assumptions and nostalgia and projections from others of how this whole thing goes that are hard to digest, and I've taken longer to process these things recently. Sometimes, we see the brightness of the blessing and are blind to the shadows. Sometimes, we see the light radiating from the end of the tunnel that has rounded into the last weeks of waiting, and we miss what God is working in this day.
- Oh, so I sobbed in the produce section at the commissary last week. (Commissary = grocery stores on military installations.) Then I sobbed again when I told Hubs about it.
- Ever since our ultrasound on Friday, I have been so excited. I have my moments, but feel generally more balanced. I'm better able to purge or discard any lack of sensitivity or support so that we can focus on welcoming Eli in the best ways and can stay calm and relaxed as we anticipate many changes! So, please help us by staying super positive and in prayer. And kindly leave your "I labored for a million hours and the doctor did this terrible thing and my babies were huge and recovery was awful so you will probably experience all these things too" war stories for someone else please! We have plenty of warning already, and I need no further fuel for my imagination. 

Looking forward to?
Going into labor! Seriously. Why, you ask?
1.) A friend here who had her baby three months ago told me last week that- and I quote- "It was so much fun." She had high blood pressure and problems with laboring with epidural and ended up having an emergency c-section when her sweet boy went into distress. But what she remembers is waiting in excitement with her husband and hearing her son's first cry. Her advice was to take it in and enjoy it! "I mean, you're having a baby!!!!" 
2.) I also have a friend who recommended the best book for preparing to labor after she was able to have two problem-free, natural births. It isn't blatantly written from a Christian perspective but has guided me to better see how God has designed me and Eli, as well as allowed me to grow in my understanding of what God will do on that day, no matter how it turns out! I get to do it with Him, and I know it will be one of the most beautiful days we have had together! 
I may have purged everyone else's advice but these beautiful treasures lol! Thanking God for restoring my peace through these two precious moms.

What's new?
- The sonogram last Friday and doctor's appointment yesterday. The fibroids are a non-issue in delivery! My last three appts are scheduled almost weekly now. 
- Getting packed for the hospital.
- New toys: baby carrier, monitor, swing, & jogger. Thank you to everyone who gave us gift cards at the shower! These last big ticket items are because of you! And because of patience for sales and coupons. :)

Practicing.

Prayer Requests?

- Pray for me to not cry in any section of the commissary or in any store for that matter.
- Please pray for us to be prepared, positive, and relaxed in the next weeks as we wait for Eli to come meet us!

This is entirely accurate.
Still feeling "obnoxious comments" and headed straight into "Violet Beauregarde" status. I don't wear purple on purpose.